The super-sexy mamas I cho'

Me: if you could bring just one person to a desert island with you, who would it be?
Patient [with lightning speed]: Tyra Banks!
Me: Ok. Why's that?
Patient: because she's a super-sexy mama.
Me: Anyone else you'd want?
Patient [equally fast]: Haley Berry!
Me: Ok - how about someone you know? Family members? friends?
Patient: Ugh ... I don't want no ugly people on my island.

Some of us didn't have such a choice. ::sigh::

Choke I cho'

I was interviewing a patient and asked him what brought him here. He tells me, in a matter of fact way, that it was the police. He goes on to say that they choked him, and starts motioning to choke himself. Then looks at me. "Here, I'll show you how they did it", and starts bringing his hands toward me, in an attempt to choke me. "Um no, thats alright", I say. "You sure?". Oh yes, I'm positive.

The brush I cho'

I was interviewing an elderly patient (PT) who was just admitted. My attending asked PT questions, who stared at me while giving me “I want to sex you” eyes. I avoided her gaze. When it was my turn to ask questions, PT reached into a ziplock bag and pulled out a toothbrush. Interesting. PT proceeded to then comb her hair with said toothbrush, and continued to give ‘sex me’ eyes. I'm too sexy for my white coat.

The chicken I cho'

We were interviewing this kid in front of our attending and other students. We asked him a relatively straightforward question - "if you were an animal, what animal would it be? He answered chicken. Which is cool and all, so we asked him why exactly. He said - "I love chicken. Chinese chicken, fried chicken, grilled chicken. I LOVE CHICKEN." Both of us made up our minds right and then – we felt like chicken tonight.